VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1                                                                                 UP DATED  April 1, 2008                                                                        Weather: Mostly all day

Front Page

Disclaimer

SPITZER BLAMES EXTRAVAGANT SPENDING ON RISING OIL PRICES

March 27. During a televised Press Conference Ex-NY Governor Eliot Spitzer announced the cause for his recent extravagant spending on call girls. Spitzer stated, “ With the rising oil prices, all consumer goods are costing more than ever, so it is no wonder I spent so much money on these woman. If this had happened say ten years ago, I probably would have only spent a hundred or so, not even enough to cause a blip.”

Call girl price expert Will Seelusex noted that Spitzer makes a legitimate point. “Oil prices are so dang high, Pimps are spending more than ever to ship these girls out and to dress them appropriately.” However, Mr. Seelusex also stated that there were alternatives for Spitzer. “With the recent mortgage crisis, we decided to create a line of budget girls for the man suffering from financial issues. For example, you can now purchase a lovely girl for a sloppy make-out session and a gratuitous 'reach-around' for as little as $19.99."

"Spitzer’s spending is partly due to his specific needs as well as rising prices," Seelusex concluded.

With oil prices predicted to continue increasing we can only ask ourselves what it will cost for a night out in the future. Though political figures are not advocating any new pricing regulations for now, experts note that if  high prices continue to stand for the next four or more years, professional help will be needed.

Prices of Call Girls Through the Ages

Year     Price Per Night   650 B.C   Two stones and one Stick   1495   Three Spanish Doubloons   1890   Four pounds and a promise not to be killed   1909   A couple of dimes and a brand new penny        1974   N/A   1989   Twenty five dollars / hr   2008   Three thousand dollars/hr