VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1                                                                                 UP DATED  April 1, 2008                                                                        Weather: Mostly all day

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ENTIRE NEW YORK STATE GOVERNMENT ADMITS TO HAVING AFFAIR
 

A massive shakeup in New York politics could be expected in the coming weeks, as every elected government official in the Empire State admitted to committing various adulteress acts. In the wake of admissions of extramarital adult music making by ex-governor Spitzer, replacement Governor David Paterson and his wife both admitted to multiple sexual excursions beyond their wedding vows. With the newfound degree of openness, legislators, mayors and aldermen have been tossing out the truth about their hotel room trysts. The FBI and Acme Divorce Lawyers have been busy filtering through the admissions to discover whether they are grounds for divorce or criminal charges. So far, no divorces have resulted, but three cases of soliciting a prostitute, thirteen cases of bribery, one case of statutory rape, and seven to ten counts of bestiality have been filed.

Pictured here is Governor Paterson raising his hand to stop the count at "seven" when a reporter asked him how many times he cheated on his wife.

In a related story,  a donkey from upstate New York has filed suit complaining that among other lewd acts, Governor Paterson once pinned a tail on his ass during a parlor game at Gracie Mansion.