VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1                                                       ARCHIVES

Front Page

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LOCAL SCHOOL PLAYS NAME CHANGE GAME
CITES CHER AS PRECEDENT

May 15, 2003
CHARLOTTE, NC -- In a bold move early this month, Queens College (formerly Queens-Chicora College [formerly the Presbyterian College for Women {formerly the Charlotte Female Institute}]) announced it has changed its name to Queens University of Charlotte.

"The name better reflects the diversity of the college's programs (including 5 at the graduate level) and its close connection with the city of Charlotte," says Craig Murden, Director of University Relations (formerly the Office of Communication).

Faculty have long agreed that the complex governance structure of Queens and the presence of professional schools and graduate programs required moving to university status which they believe should bring lighter teaching loads, fewer committee meetings, and salary increases. "It's a university, for God's sakes," exclaimed one gleeful faculty member who asked not to be identified by name.

"I can't wait for school to start this fall," said Anna Clare, a returning sophomore from Locust, NC. "I'm majoring in fashion design, and maybe I can help design the uniforms for the football team. I've always wanted to go to a university, and now I can! I'm looking forward to the bonfires at homecoming."

Related to the new university status are other name changes on the Queens campus, including: University Advancement (formerly Institutional Advancement), Trexler Student Center (formerly Trexler College Center), and Keith Hamilton Byrd (formerly Keith Byrd). In order to attract more majors, the English Department has changed its name to The Department of Business Administration. And soccer coach, Tug Rawlings would like, from this time forward, to be known simply as "Loretta."

In changing its name, Queens joins a growing national trend. After 9/11 there was a flurry of name changing by immigrants of middle eastern origin, trying to escape criminal suspicion and avoid taunting, prejudice, and sometimes death (see The Observer, July 21). On average 21,850 people a year change their names in North Carolina. Mecklenburg is second only to Wake county in the number of name changes.

This has created a growing concern that the nation may run out of names. But new ones are becoming available every day, good solid American names like Ken Lay and Arthur Anderson, as disgraced CEO's and even entire companies have gotten into the name game to restore an image or escape prosecution. Some years ago ValuJet changed its name to Air Trans after one of its planes plunged into a Florida swamp, and last week Philip Morris announced it wants to change its name to Altira.

In a related development, Lung Cancer said it would be changing its name to Philip Morris. Doctors now will inform their patients, "I'm sorry but your x-rays indicate you have inoperable Philip Morris. You have six months to live."

Name changing, of course, is nothing new. Celebrities have done it for years. Rugged hero John Wayne was born Marion Michael Morrison, and heartthrob Tom Cruise was Christened Thomas Cruise Mapother. Would you wear designer clothes by Ralph Lifshitz (Ralph Lauren)?

Now to bolster her sagging career and gain more airtime, Cher has changed her name to Consuella Maria del Toro Heuvas Rancheros de Pollumbra Allejandra Theresa Virago con Carne.

And Michael Jackson, after condemning his record company (Sony) for racism, checked into a Memphis hospital to reverse the effects of his plastic surgery under the name of Okimby Matumba. Right on, brother!

Finally, in a global shocker, Palestine, in an effort to achieve recognition as a sovereign state, has announced it plans to change its name to Alabama. "There are hopes," says the Palestine Minister of Global Affairs, "that the prospect of going to war with a bunch of red-neck crackers will scare the shit out of the Israelis."

Throw in Marion Michael Morrison as a drill sergeant with uniforms by Ralph Lifshitz, and Palestine leader Bobby Joe Ledbetter (formerly Yasser Arafat) just might have a winner there.