VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1                          UP DATED  February 14, 2005                          Weather: Mostly all day

Front Page

Core Class Confiscated for Coffee Shop
Claire Lowrance

Angry students protested last week after Student Life usurped their Core class and converted it into a coffee shop. Passionately they raged in front of the new coffee shop screaming for the right to regain their classroom.

Questioning one student we found the reason for their love of this facility, "Students need a learning environment that offers the convenience of everyday life. We spend most of our study time in coffee shops or in our dorm rooms that are filled with comfortable lounge furniture and eating facilities, that is why our professor created this classroom. He said it is a mock study environment that enables student's recall to improve in class since it is the type of environment they studied in."

If it was the comforts of home they were going for, they got it. The core class is packed with the latest in livingroom furniture, from over stuffed couches to ornate coffee tables. Surround sound TV, DVD, Video, and Stereo with a remote controlled screen and projector are special features in the room installed for their learning convenience. The Core students will feel like they are studying in their home living rooms but it doesn't stop there, they have also included a kitchen feature. The coffee and smoothie bar are also present for their learning pleasure. Also, to make students feel a little more at home, their professor went one step further to install Christmas lights around the ceiling that give off that familiar glow to remind them of that beloved break.

"It is an outrage that Queens University is allowing Student Life to confiscate our classroom," one student shouted as he grabbed empty coffee cups and pounded the Work Study students trying to restock the bar.. "College classrooms are not for buying and selling cappuccinos and oreo smoothies, they are for learning!"

Their professor was no where to be found, but it was reported he has suffered a mental breakdown and is confined to his home, refusing to return to work until his classroom is back in his possession.

There will be a campus-wide meeting next week to determine what the room under Wallace dorm will become -- Coffee shop or classroom. The students and their professor both ask alums to remember that a place of learning should be common ground for anyone. "Vote for your right to thrive," says one student government representative. "And give us back our classroom."